I LOVE MY PARENTS... . .

I'm really happy today~
I had a great breakfast with my parents, my aunt and her friend.. .
after that my parents took me to Gurney Plaza to shop for my formal clothes
My day was just unforgettable

When I went for my fitting,
I tried both pants and skirt.
I liked the skirt but my mum thinks the pants looked nicer.. .
I was only been told by mum to only pick one &
so I was in dilemma... .
I didnt know which to choose.. .

UNTIL

my dad saw how it fitted so well on me,
He said just take both~
I was happy but in a way I was feeling guilty
when I saw him scouting for clothes that only was throw out with 70% tags on it.. ..
I was deeply touched and moved as to how my dad would sacrificed for me
For me to look pretty during my presentation &
For me to look smart so that I would score for my attire.. .

In one day, my formal clothing touched RM400 and above.. .
I was really happy & glad that I had HIM as my dad.. . .
I LOVE HIM~

MUM on the other hand,
showered me with LOVE like no ones' business~
She didnt mind sleeping on the floor with me because my dad was using my bed.. .
She mopped my floor early in the morning & before she leaved.. .
Cleaned my room,
Folded my clothes,
& did practically everything so to lessen my burden & to focus on my studies~
I LOVE MUM

Now I can only wish that I have a bright future so to
Get dad every little gadget he LOVE to meddle with &
Get mum all the kitchen utensil I know she'll LOVE to use

I hope that I would be patient with my parents as they grow older
& I hope that I would not get mad at them easily~
I really wished that I would fulfill this promise
because I'm just so afraid that I might not be able to control my emotions
when I'm in the heat of work running a big project and have them
running around like kids asking me this and that~

there are just too much to say that I really am getting speechless as to what to even continue.. . .
I really wanted to write an email to my parents saying that I LOVE THEM
I wanted to write them that if one day I get mad at them
Please let me know so I would lower my voice~
I would apologize.. . .
I would cool down and I would repeat everything over again nicely~
I LOVE YOU MUM !
I LOVE YO DAD !
YOU ARE JUST THE BEST !!!

Really busy~

Life in college is getting more and more interesting
homework are stacking up and work load is getting more stressful
But somehow, I rather enjoyed it than having nothing better to do.
Besides that, I felt that things are finally turning round.
The guy I had a crush on is finally responding~
I was shocked too
As to now, we are very best friends =)

I wonder how I should feel ??
because I am having the feeling of being protective now that I am in a way letting someone in.. .
I do have problems with boys.. .
Or am I just afraid of commitment ??
Anyway, I really am glad that I am doing so fine nowadays.. .
Results for my assignments are also quite good... .
at least I still manage to score 8/10 & above so I'm glad =)

Here are some of my recent assignment.. .
to built a box.. .
a emotion box (sad/depressed) and a conceptual box which I've choose a love story

Too MUCH!!

Friends are always the same.. . .
They'll suck all the juice out of you
and leave you paralyzed and soon die~
maybe I over exaggerated but that is so true !!
they wanted you to play with them and so that you wont be able to finish your work and be like them~
always last minute....

A thing which I cannot tolerate
the background which we are brought up to be are so different as to I just cant procrastinate my work not now that I've understand how important that good result is theoretically and practically ~

They might not understand how important it is for me to score 4.0 flat but I really need to aim high as to not to disappoint my parents again
I'm not interested in playing childish games with them
or to waste my hard earn saving on such silly stuff~
paying 20 noodles for karaoke which I dont even enjoy just for wifi ??
how about McD ?? at least I wont have to starve and still get free wifi.. . .

They get mad at me whenever I spoil the fun
Just because I was invited, it doesnt mean that I'll have to go if I dont feel like going
I DO NOT HAVE TO PLEASE NO ONE.. . .
I'M NO ENTERTAINER.. ..
I'M A STUDENT!!!... .

Besides why am I the one who need to care about how they should feel... . .
If I do, who is caring for me ??
DARN THEM~

So Complicated, So Hetic, So SO SO Just perfect = =''

Assignment are nowadays getting more and more.. .
I'm so afraid that I might not be able to finish it in time
even thought I always do.. .
But I'm trying to score not only just by handing over my piece of assignment
I wanted my piece to be the BEST !!!
I admit I am greedy
Greedy for marks
because I still want my life in my near future to be JUST PERFECT~

Now, after the confession which didnt turn out the way I wanted it to
which is all right now because we seem to be chatting more now that we are just friends
I found out that he's the type of boy which do not know what he wants and what he LIKE
because he keeps on denying the fact that he do.. .
He puts education first which is a good thing but seems to deny all other existence which is also important.. .
He tries to create an image of a good boy which he is but I couldnt understand why cant a good boy have a girlfriend ??
I was so caught up with emotional thought too during my exams but I still manage to SCORE 4.0 flat on my nursing sub ~

Well, I hope my wild wild guesses about him isnt accurate because if it does, it would just be sad~
I wish that he would find a girl which would love him so very much and that he treasures her too.. ..

For my case, I had another boy coming in the picture~
But still, he's personality is too unreliable~
I'm not so sure whether to believe in all his sweet talks or just to ignore him first
nevertheless, he is still at least better than the boy I had a crush on
because at least he cares~
the ONE THING that EVERYONE needed the MOST.. . .
SOMEONE TO CARE ~

Terrible JOKES

Jokes are defined as something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously.. . .

but I dont see it funny at all
Maybe because they are such TERRIBLE class clown where they cant really differentiate good jokes that would make people laugh and bad jokes that would hurt people's feeling

I really hate the feeling for all this.. .. .
taking me as a subject with a boy making it an item for joke... . .
I didnt want to be so close to any guy in my class for a reason..
Well obviously to avoid all this.. . ..
Stupid name callings
Stupid face mimicking
all going lovey dovey~

if I happens to like that guy this would be really fun
But I happens to not like that guy~
I'm not that of a sporting type of girl compared to other girls because I take things like this really seriously.. ..
If I like him,
I would give chances
If not. ..
I would not create HOPEs.. . .

Today in class..
A fellow friend of mine
happens to be called up to the front
& he was asked to pick any girl..
Okay he was shy and I was definitely hoping it was not me
& bingo.. ..

I was called up by other betrayers a good friend of his called me up~
I wanted to be sporting
so I walk up towards him
But the funny part of this activity was
you are require to look at the partner's eyes
which was something that I cant do.. . .
I cant just look at someone's eyes knowing that the guy had a bit crush on me
What if that creates hope...
I so do not want to see if his eye's pupils expands~
& so, I told the lecturer I have BOY PHOBIA which made the whole class laughing like mad
leaving him behind as I went back to my seat... .

I hated the way my classmates take this as a cruel joke to him and to me... .
In a way, I'm so afraid that they are creating hope to him making me like him
& everytime I did what I just did to him (eg. leaving him behind saying that I have BOY PHOBIA) would make him more embarrassed as he already am.. .

I'm also afraid that I'm stuck with him since people might take us as a couple
which leaves me no chance with other boys... .

GOD DAMN it are they terrible JOKERS !!!

Finally~

Hopes that were given finally didnt feel like it anymore
I guess I was right since from the start
But it was a good thing that now I finally know what he THINKs
I didnt regreted telling him
I just regreted that I didnt tell him sooner so that I didnt have to push so hard
& wasted all this time trying to make him see that I liked him

For 1 year and more
I can fianlly give up
I can finally take a rest~

I didnt feel like crying at first because it was already expected
& so,
I didnt
But after seeing mum,
I didnt know why I did~

I'm really happy
Happy that he finally FINALLY says what he is thinking
I'm glad ~

I wonder ~

This year's Chinese New Year
I wanted it to be special~

I was really happy these few days staying at home
Chatting with my relatives
Wearing new clothes
Finally putting on some make up
Smiling and greeting everyone ," Happy Chinese New Year!"

But still I am still getting nervous as the days draws closer
I will be confessing to him again~
I liked him alright but,
I really am getting tired
I really wanted to tell him

BUT,

finally a guy is chasing over me
at least I think he is giving hints that he likes me

When I told my mum about this boy B,
My mum was really happy
she said that I should opened up to more guys

She also said the most important thing that a girl should know is that,
''a girl should never love a boy more than the boy loves her''
sigh~