I've been pretty lazy these few days . .
Havent been updating my dairy nor my blog
I'm excited at the very same time, I'm very nervous
about my new college
I really hope that this would really bring me overseas
I cant wait to start my new life
I cant wait to start my new college
I cant wait to do my first project
I cant wait to meet new people
I cant wait for anything . .
am really excited
but again, still very am afraid and nervous
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas !! =)
To all, Merry Christmas ! !
Holidays is sure a season where everyone should be in PEACE
Me and my .... not so much
It's irritating to know that he wont want to return me My LAPTOP
I never said to GIVE him mine
It was just to borrow him
Because I didnt want to waste dad's money to get another one
But since dad took and fixed IT
(So , It's FUNCTIONAL NOW)
He still wants to HOLD on TO mine
Terrible !!!
ARHHHH . . ..
Holidays is sure a season where everyone should be in PEACE
Me and my .... not so much
It's irritating to know that he wont want to return me My LAPTOP
I never said to GIVE him mine
It was just to borrow him
Because I didnt want to waste dad's money to get another one
But since dad took and fixed IT
(So , It's FUNCTIONAL NOW)
He still wants to HOLD on TO mine
Terrible !!!
ARHHHH . . ..
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Fear In LIFE ~
Everybody have what they fear most in life . .
And for me, I was no exception . .
What I FEAR most in Life is unable to get a job I want
And if worst comes to worst is that If I EVER GET MARRIED,
I got into the wrong relationship and marriage was another disaster. .
it GETS worst . . what if KIDS are involve ?? @.@ GOD I am THINKING to DAMN much
anyway, things havent really actually happen . .
Life is still easy going for me
To be still under my parents care..
But I'm getting OLD &
Education isnt reaching it's most fruitful results yet
& I feel as thought I'm still hanging . . .
Although I've finally figured out what I want to invest what I want in my life - ARTS
It doesnt seem that it'll bring me far for I am still not confident with my work . .
& of course BOYS
Getting a BOYFRIEND is another hard task . . .
My aunt kept on stressing to me if I dont get a BF soon in my college years,
It'll be difficult for me to get marry in the future
HAHA ... how encouraging . . . .
so all well that ends well . . .
I was born well . .
with NO DEFORMITIES or any ABNORMALITIES
So I hope that everything will END up well . .
And for me, I was no exception . .
What I FEAR most in Life is unable to get a job I want
And if worst comes to worst is that If I EVER GET MARRIED,
I got into the wrong relationship and marriage was another disaster. .
it GETS worst . . what if KIDS are involve ?? @.@ GOD I am THINKING to DAMN much
anyway, things havent really actually happen . .
Life is still easy going for me
To be still under my parents care..
But I'm getting OLD &
Education isnt reaching it's most fruitful results yet
& I feel as thought I'm still hanging . . .
Although I've finally figured out what I want to invest what I want in my life - ARTS
It doesnt seem that it'll bring me far for I am still not confident with my work . .
& of course BOYS
Getting a BOYFRIEND is another hard task . . .
My aunt kept on stressing to me if I dont get a BF soon in my college years,
It'll be difficult for me to get marry in the future
HAHA ... how encouraging . . . .
so all well that ends well . . .
I was born well . .
with NO DEFORMITIES or any ABNORMALITIES
So I hope that everything will END up well . .
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
It's been tough . . .
After quitting nursing,
Offered was made by S'pore's hospitals
They are now recruiting nurses from Malaysia for those who are interested that is..
Well, I was but not anymore
I really do not want to try my luck no more
I have been going in and coming out from colleges twice now
And I dont plan on doing it the third time
I had a chat with my parents about the college I'll be taking in Jan
The biggest problem is that,
This college do not offer loans . .
In other words,
So far, students are funding themselves in the college (RICH KIDS)
sigh~
I do not really want to give in for this reason for the college I choose
But then, I really dont like K.. (in fact, I hate K..)
The E...... - not really interested
but these colleges offer me better than . . .
What to do??? what to do ???
What makes me think harder is that
when my dad told me that he thought that I'm loaning money from gov,
he didnt really need to pay much
But due to all this,
he shocked his head . . .
I didnt know how to react to it
But I was really guilty . . .
I'm using his savings to survive & for my selfish needs . .
AND what if I dont get a job ??
How am I suppose to repay his deed ??
This is just so difficult
I just wished that I could run away from all this
I really wished that I have a fantasy land where I can hide
But I guess this is reality
If I were to stay in my dream land things would ended out worst
well,
the faster I realize that the world is getting tough,
The faster I'll face the truth and deal with it
----------------------------------------
I'm getting worried about a lot of things
Am my parents financially prepared for all my expenses ??
Am I ready to face my fear in the design world ??
Am I able to cope with all this ??
Am I suitable for this course ??
I dont deserve all this!!
My only wish now is that when one day really comes and I'm dealing so far so good in my life,
I wish that I have saved up something special for my parents for all they had done for me
SUPPORTING me
LOVING ME
& BELIEVING me
althought I'm worry myself (so is my dad)if I couldnt get a job one day
WELL, I wish fate isnt cruel
Offered was made by S'pore's hospitals
They are now recruiting nurses from Malaysia for those who are interested that is..
Well, I was but not anymore
I really do not want to try my luck no more
I have been going in and coming out from colleges twice now
And I dont plan on doing it the third time
I had a chat with my parents about the college I'll be taking in Jan
The biggest problem is that,
This college do not offer loans . .
In other words,
So far, students are funding themselves in the college (RICH KIDS)
sigh~
I do not really want to give in for this reason for the college I choose
But then, I really dont like K.. (in fact, I hate K..)
The E...... - not really interested
but these colleges offer me better than . . .
What to do??? what to do ???
What makes me think harder is that
when my dad told me that he thought that I'm loaning money from gov,
he didnt really need to pay much
But due to all this,
he shocked his head . . .
I didnt know how to react to it
But I was really guilty . . .
I'm using his savings to survive & for my selfish needs . .
AND what if I dont get a job ??
How am I suppose to repay his deed ??
This is just so difficult
I just wished that I could run away from all this
I really wished that I have a fantasy land where I can hide
But I guess this is reality
If I were to stay in my dream land things would ended out worst
well,
the faster I realize that the world is getting tough,
The faster I'll face the truth and deal with it
----------------------------------------
I'm getting worried about a lot of things
Am my parents financially prepared for all my expenses ??
Am I ready to face my fear in the design world ??
Am I able to cope with all this ??
Am I suitable for this course ??
I dont deserve all this!!
My only wish now is that when one day really comes and I'm dealing so far so good in my life,
I wish that I have saved up something special for my parents for all they had done for me
SUPPORTING me
LOVING ME
& BELIEVING me
althought I'm worry myself (so is my dad)if I couldnt get a job one day
WELL, I wish fate isnt cruel
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Dont ASK~
(7.12.2010)
Dont ask me how
Dont ask me when
Dont ask me anything
How did I lose my phone
How did all my memories I had in my phone
the pictures I took together with my friends
All vanish in a day
I wanted to be sad
But my emotions are not really there
I was numb and shock as to how it all happened ??
I was confused
I am desperate to know what my LIFE is getting to . .
It was suppose to be a happy day for me with my friends
as I was going to leave Kl soon . .
I QUIT nursing and I was glad that all my burden finally went away
But,
(8.12.2010)
my dad was bothering me
How ??
By not saying a word ~
I dont know what he's thinking about me quitting nursing
I had no idea what he was thinking when I told him I lost my phone
He did not scold me as I had wished him to
TO at least ease how I'm feeling . .
The financial problems my dad is facing must be a burden
when I saw him smoking
It must be difficult to have me as his demanding daughter
I hate myself for being selfish too
I wanted to make a promise
To make my parents life easy
But What if I cant make it ??
WELL, it's not up to me to decide. .
I'll just have to give my 110% in everything I'll do
Dont ask me how,
But
If; When I'm sad,
I'll think about how sad my parents will be for me
If; When I'm stuck and out of idea,
I'll think about the money that my parents had used on me to bail me out and for me to start a fresh new one
If; When I think I'm going to fail,
I'll think about how disappointed my parents will on me
I wish things would go well . . PLEASE ~
Dont ask me how
Dont ask me when
Dont ask me anything
How did I lose my phone
How did all my memories I had in my phone
the pictures I took together with my friends
All vanish in a day
I wanted to be sad
But my emotions are not really there
I was numb and shock as to how it all happened ??
I was confused
I am desperate to know what my LIFE is getting to . .
It was suppose to be a happy day for me with my friends
as I was going to leave Kl soon . .
I QUIT nursing and I was glad that all my burden finally went away
But,
(8.12.2010)
my dad was bothering me
How ??
By not saying a word ~
I dont know what he's thinking about me quitting nursing
I had no idea what he was thinking when I told him I lost my phone
He did not scold me as I had wished him to
TO at least ease how I'm feeling . .
The financial problems my dad is facing must be a burden
when I saw him smoking
It must be difficult to have me as his demanding daughter
I hate myself for being selfish too
I wanted to make a promise
To make my parents life easy
But What if I cant make it ??
WELL, it's not up to me to decide. .
I'll just have to give my 110% in everything I'll do
Dont ask me how,
But
If; When I'm sad,
I'll think about how sad my parents will be for me
If; When I'm stuck and out of idea,
I'll think about the money that my parents had used on me to bail me out and for me to start a fresh new one
If; When I think I'm going to fail,
I'll think about how disappointed my parents will on me
I wish things would go well . . PLEASE ~
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Finally
Finally I'm saying I QUIT!!
Well, I told my lecturer today & she was shock !!
WAS REALLY SHOCK when I told her I want to quit ~
Well, I was a good student and I understands most of the classes
So it's hard to not get good impression XP
Unfortunately,
I'll still have to sit for my test tomorrow
Because IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY . . . =.=''
sigh~
How could she put it that way . . .
I didnt study . .
How are my RESULTS going to be the best if it's like that ??
I still want to maintain my top position too when I leave at least . .
At least it gives a bit of something to showoff >.<
Well, I told my lecturer today & she was shock !!
WAS REALLY SHOCK when I told her I want to quit ~
Well, I was a good student and I understands most of the classes
So it's hard to not get good impression XP
Unfortunately,
I'll still have to sit for my test tomorrow
Because IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY . . . =.=''
sigh~
How could she put it that way . . .
I didnt study . .
How are my RESULTS going to be the best if it's like that ??
I still want to maintain my top position too when I leave at least . .
At least it gives a bit of something to showoff >.<
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