What I Had in LIFE . . I expects too much

A lot had happened these few days that made me really unhappy
I was sad about a lot of things
I was sad about what that is happening to me
I was really down about my life . .
I wish I had more
I wish I had some guide
I really wish I had a glimpse of my future . .
But in reality,
This is what I've got . .

I really couldnt settle it all by myself
I guess what my bro said to my parents was all "rigths" after all
I only looked tough at the outside but not the inside . .

I thought about a lot of things that is going on
& I understands that life have to move on
But the fact and the thought that after hearing what mum had to say,
It actually made me realise that,
Not everyone is always that happy about what they want in life.
My mum says that if I were to really want to stop what I'm studying now,
Dadddy will bail me out this time. .
In other words, he will pay for the 20K that I owe government
Knowing of what he would do to help me really touches me deeply and made me cried
Mum also told me that she wont stop me from what I wanted to study
But the tell the truth,
What is it that I really want in THIS FREAKING LIFE OF MINE ???
to get out of MALAYSIA ??

I cried alot more nowadays
& how old am I ?
anyway, I'm still so confused
althought,
I am glad that no matter what happens,
Mum and Dad will be here for me
To support me no matter what mistakes that I made
Although I also know that if I were to really decide to quit,
This will be my only and last chance.
Financially, I guess this is the best a parent can do for a child
I love you Mum !
I love you Dad !
I'm sorry that I'm being so childish
I'm SORRY