another DAY another reason to stay ALIVE

Well, I'm still wondering with what is happening nowadays . .
It seems that everything is still a big fog in my head

Psychology ~
hmm can I really do it with my EQ being just average ??
Nevermind about that
But how about the money I've wasted now ??
20K is not a small amount at all . .
Having my dad to pay for that due to my selfishness . .
Isnt this just too much ??
But I'm really glad that dad would bail me out this time

I'm happy that mum's planning on bringing me to S'pore to have a look at the colleges there
I'M happy that dad would allow me to think about other colleges too
Eventhough I'm already studying in one which I would say that it really is a pain . .


even so,

I'm sad that my parents are wasting so much money on me
I'm sad when I found out I was making my parents worry and unhappy about me when I kept on mentioning and complianing about how life have hated me here . .

I just am not satisfy with what I have
I needed things to be more
I want them to be more perfect

I just thought that maybe if I have my first step out from this country,
It will lead me to another
I need to get out of here
Right now
Right this instant'

Why can some people just be that lucky
Why cant I just be some of the people ??
Of course I do understand that when compared to others,
I'm already having more than enough
But I'm just not done yet
I'm just not satisfy with life just like this yet
Not until one day when I tell myself
''Even if the world would end today,
I wouldnt mind anymore
because I've already achieve all I've ever wanted ''

Well hoping that everything would work out well . .
BLESSINGS please =)