I cant IMAGINE if he says No

Thinking about it itself is already starting to bring tears in my eyes
I mean come on

I was madly in love with him when I first saw him
I admit I was attracted to him by the way he looked at the outside first
But later when I got to know more
It was like I was unable to even compare other guys with him anymore

He do not smoke
He do not drink alcohols
He's tall
He's fair
He's nice
but the only thing which is not perfect is that 'I love him more than he does to me'

I gave him 100% but it was like he was only returning 20% to me
I cant believe I'm writing it here but I guess when you really loves someone
you dont really care what others think anymore~

I did all those silly little things which my friends would usually jokingly tell me
as in
'' stop reading the messages again. .. It'll last longer if you copy it''
and I told her, '' already did''
and she would go totally blank ~

then I would also not have any guys taking picture with me alone because I wanted my 1st picture to be taken with him
NOT only that,
I would not even mind buying things or taking time to make something which I think he would like although I know that I would never have a chance giving it to him. ..

but I'm getting tired
I'm so tired of waiting
He's just being so cold towards me~
when I asked for the reason why he's sad,
He would just not answer
and when he finally did, he says
''Don't force me okay ?''
what am I suppose to say after that ?? ?

do He thinks that I would go asked anyone randomly when I see someone's sad ??
I just wanted to know more about him~

I felt so hurt after he said that after which I had hope that he would tell me what was wrong~
& I replied, take care then~

I felt that this coming Chinese New Year after my confession,
My eyes would be as puffy as a goldfish~
somewhat, I just know that things would go wrong
but I still want to tell it to him face to face~
at least if he rejects this time,
I'll have no regrets anymore
& this would finally end~